'Cause you said, said she was the one
Baby yes you said, said you were in love

Wen Qing:D
 Temasek Secondary
Peer Support Leader:P
3/8 iz da bombz!

I am..... gullible, fun, idiotic, irritating, passionate, lazy, wacky, warm, emotional, weird, nothing, something, anything, everything.
In love and crazy.

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Ripped apart/
Sunday, July 12, 2009, 4:44 AM

Maybe it's because I woke up on the wrong side of bed today. It's terrible feeling like this. My whole morning/afternnon was spent, sitting around in a daze..... feeling as though it's the last day on earth and I cant do anything about it.

I watched Jong Kook's episode on Family Outing today though, but it didn't seem to help. After laughing like shit over the show, I'm back to this hopeless state again. It feels like I'm being ripped apart;

WARNING: NC16 GORE AND VIOLENCE

Ripped apart like all of my intestines and heart and lungs are forcefully taken out of my body. Like a pair of hands just dug into my chest and pulled out my heart. Like it just tore me apart, without spilling a single drop of blood.
It messes up my insides.
I feel so distraught and helpless.
I always get these unknown feelings, like I dont even know where they came from and they just attack me suddenly leaving me clueless. I hate this kind of life. Why can't life just be about laughing days away, carefree and happy? No, that will never happen. Life is just about this. This is life. And there's nothing we can do to change it, except adapting and being slaves to it. I dont like it, but what can I do?

I dont have any motivation to do any work. I can just sit there doing nothing, but just won't get started on work. I know this isn't the way I should be living my life. I know it too well.

I miss you... I really do. I shouldn't be pressurizing you with my "I miss you"s because I know you'll feel guilty and sorry again. This is an important lap for you and I should not be any form of distraction. I'm sorry.. I really dont know what I should do. I just miss you. I cant even stop myself from drifting to thoughts of you; thoughts of us together. I smile when I think of them. Then I have to drag myself back to this cruel reality. This reality where I'm not even sure of how long we can last, how far we will go. When a new year dawns, it'll be even more difficult for us. My O Levels', your new school. I really cant help but think of these. Those sweet nothings about never letting each other go, theyre still words. I dont know, I guess I just feel insecure sometimes. I know I should be posting up all this shit on my private blog, but the feelings just came and I had to get it down somewhere. Sorry.. and I love you.